standing up for the first time

realizing her life’s potential

new heights

2 weeks has passed and this is my inaugural post for the year. *whoa*

our wedding is fast approaching and we are behind on our prep, but we will get there. he reminds me that i must not panic. and he’s convinced that i am unable to relax (in general).. i dunno – i actually thought i’m slack most times! *scratch head*  anyways.

and so! the post is titled as such because yesterday was a milestone (from my perspective, at least) in our relationship. we scheduled our pre-wedding photo shoot with jeremy for yesterday. my morning started reaaaally early at 0630am with the make-up process. before long, adr arrived with all the barang barang and looking real suave in his pink shirt, grey vest and pants ensemble. once we were both done with our faces and hair, i got changed (and taped!). that was when it all clicked and the magic kicked in.. heeee. the gown rendered me quite useless, so i wasn’t really able to do a lot of stuff. i needed and got assistance for the littlest things – hehh! my folks were actually so excited, even though it was me going for the shoot. hahaha.. dad took several pictures of me/us, and mom walked us down, helping to carry some stuff too.

on our drive there, adr initiated to pray for us, and i’m mighty glad he did! (:  other than asking for good weather, skill for our photographer and favour with him, he was very sweet to ask God to let me feel like the bride that i am about to be. i thought it was just cute that he said that in his prayer, and i was tickled at that moment.. but on hindsight, i did feel very pampered the entire day by him. it wasn’t just for half a day or a few hours in the morning when he was still fresh and positive. it was for the whole time.. even till today.

it was wonderful that God held back the rain until we were done with our outdoor portions. in fact, we had perfect weather right from the morning. we had nice, soft rays from the sun and cool, gentle breeze to boot when we were at cantebury road. (:  it all worked together perfectly to give us many beautiful moments and shots.. jeremy seemed excited much every now and then, so i think it makes all the mozzie bites worth the while.. :P  between the 2 of us, we shared so many funny moments. because of the shoot, we probably shared the most number of kisses (and intimate moments) in a day, like ever ever! it’s a good thing that we’re comfortable enough in front of the lens to be doing whatever we were directed to do. for posterity sake, what was also funny was that at one point, i even had a bee/wasp trapped in my gown, apart from the little grasshoppers and love grass + random twig..

anyway, 2 hours and many shots later, we left for the esplanade library. the air-con offered great respite, and it was as well as a studio shot of sorts. after awhile, i started shivering because it got really cold! he ‘chided’ me for being hiaohiao and getting a bareback gown. *bleah* after we were done with the piano, we moved on to the café area and took some lounge-y shots. adr did some solo shots which looked really good. (: it was at this point that i was real glad for how our photographer made everything work even with the simplest and ordinary looking backdrops.

as we wrapped up the white gown portion, i needed a place to change. they were really sweet to offer the staff toilet for us to change comfortably and properly. for a location that we never would have imagined using, it was much more than we could have asked for. we headed to the car after we were done and here, jeremy had a moment of inspiration again. we actually made use of the basement carpark for a couple more shots. hehh! once we were done, we went off to the peranakan shop houses at petain/sturdee rd. it was an awesome location too and we nailed it quite quickly.

by this time, i think we started to feel tired – both us and the photographer. we headed back to the esplanade for our final location, my humble house. although it was troublesome to run to and fro, i very quickly appreciated the quietness and how we had access to the entire restaurant with no restrictions. christine even showed us such hospitality that we could not complain, not the least bit. she offered us water when she didn’t have to. and our crazy request to use the kitchen auto door for silhouette was acceded to with no resistance at all. lovely, lovely place. (:  as long as we don’t do banquets like caleb/ivy did, we’ll not think any less of them/the place. hehh!

we took many variations of shots in this place, which will hold a lot of meaning for us. (: we finally wrapped up after a shot that spans the entire restaurant. i was pretty much drained.. but managed to stick through till then. we thanked christine and left. after all of that, i was feeling so hungry i could eat a cow! he suggested that we go home and eat his kimchi instant noodles concoction, and i gamely agreed. as we left the car park, it began to pour heavily. super duper heavy duty kinda thunderstorm. WOW or what..??

as we reached his block, it was still raining cats and dogs. he stopped me at the shelter, so that i wouldn’t wet the gown. yet, i dropped the train of my gown as i got out!! ):  sighh. but well. we reached home and the kids were there. asher was hilarious — he was literally curious but scared of me. he would run over to see, and then run away thinking i’m some stranger. finally, he realised i was someone he knew. haha.. anaiah wouldn’t stop playing with the flowers in my hair, she was so curious. cute. adr lent me something to change out of, and he went to cook the noodles. *yay to more pampering* i was so glad to eat when the food was ready.. nomsters. and awhile later, i was so tired i couldn’t keep my eyes open. so i went to snooooooze. he left me to snooze for a really long while! i had thought he’d wake me up.. when i woke, he was still so positive and cheery that it surprised me mildly. he wasn’t the least bit grouchy even though i’m sure he was super duper tired (since he didn’t rest like i did). he proceeded to send me home and still speak with me nicely, kiss me goodnight. (:

come to think of it, it’s really amazing how each place and every element to the shoot worked out. i’m thankful how the photographer was so generous, accommodating and more excited than us at times. i’m glad God held back the rain, and gave us beautiful weather with a cool breeze.. God also held back my bio-cycles (!!).. which hit me hard today. God also helped change adr’s mind about photo shoots, which he declared as something he does not enjoy at all. he went into this only because of me, which made me feel really bad — especially after our informal one with A and C. but this time round, i think adr enjoyed himself and he said he looks forward to seeing the shots! so yeahh.

God is soooo good.

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Fabulous France

after being in foreign land for 10 days and counting, i think i’m ready to go home. this has been a really enjoyable trip, so part of me doesn’t want to go back! but i’ll go broke if we stay any longer (hurhur..) and i miss home already la.

i don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner, but this really was a trip to know his sister, who is also a friend and CG mate much better. because frankly, she was my travel partner — not so much adr. R and i spent a good six days together, sans mon beau. he was working hard while we explored the French Riveria on day trips, with Cannes as a base. i’m glad for the many good memories on my maiden trip to Europe, also my first to falubous France — somewhere i’ve longed to check out since the day i first took French lessons 11 years ago. i’m also thankful for the opportunity to see and experience the many things this country has to offer.. and perhaps because of my true blue Singaporean roots, the amazing food (including cheap+good wine!) as well as pretty good shopping were also highlights for us.

some regrets for this trip.. i thought we could have planned it better and covered more, or been more sure of what we were in for. i guess leading up to the trip, i didn’t spend enough time researching, booking or thinking about how to use the time we had. playing by ear was fun too, but i guess a bit more pre-thought through structure wouldn’t harm. as i said, it somehow didn’t occur to me that it would really more be a trip with R than with adr. silly, i know. perhaps it was denial to some extent too — like refusing to think about it would change things. i also regret not brushing up on my half-past-six, returned-to-teacher French before coming! i have all these conversations play though my head, but it just wouldn’t come out when i needed them to!! le sigh. (i decided to try reading Le Petit Prince again after i get back..)

little things i didn’t like so much..  the snooty attitude that we oftentimes get from the locals, even those in the service industry. granted, many of them are actually very pleasant and sweet individuals.. but some have made me shake head and knit brows so much that it tainted my experience of the country. the language difficulty is enough to make me think twice about visiting this otherwise beautiful place. also didn’t like that many things can’t get done or places can’t be visited on Sundays! not being able to make full use of two of the days here wasn’t very happening.. also, the smelliness of the subways and streets. coming from a clean and green (almost sterile at times) city state, i’ve taken what we have for granted. the assumption is that things are meant to be that way. this is where being more well-traveled helps put things in perspective. aside from cleanliness, the state of efficiency over here also got to me at times. well, perhaps this is also part of the reason why i look forward to returning home.

above all, i’m grateful for the time away. in no time, it’ll be “back to life, back to reality”. for now, i’ll enjoy the last bit of freezing my ass off in the much-too-cold (it’s only supposed to be beginning of autumn!) Paris.  (:

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the bands

teehee. just felt like it.

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can’t wait for the day we take our vows. (:

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token post

ehhh so i didn’t write at all after the one lone post in August. i hv a feeling this will be a token one for this month too! :P aniwae, before i jinx it further, let me carry on..

hmmm, so it’s been a rather busy few weeks. we celebrated our 4th year (oh my, where did the time go?!) not long ago.. belated because he was away in Beijing for work.. he’s been travelling qt a bit. up side was that he managed to visit family and get 2 suits done plus buy shoes for the wedding. the workmanship was pretty good..amazing stuff and they’re cheap and fast! that aside, he’s had a few amazing interviews (exclusive, i think!) and i’m real glad and proud of him. (:

on my end.. well it’s just busybusybusy. sometimes i dunno what i busy myself with. like where did the time go..? what did i accomplish..? alas.. the wedding planning is coming together. we kinda talked abt some stuff while having dinner tonight. ’twas goooood. yayness..we caught TED tonight too. liked it.. amazing how the bear was seamlessly animated with the human actors. great stuff.

in other news, i got myself measured last night and decided on my gown designs. yayyy~ oh and because he had to go back to office after our appt with margaret, i got to check out his office! cheap thrill of the month! hahahaha!! oh and lagi cheap thrill of the quarter.. his colleagues said that i look very pretty and demure!!! hurhurhur. i’m happy he’s happy. hahaa.. (Y)

ok super tired. gdnight thanks byeeeee.

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cyclical low

it might just be normal moodiness, or maybe not. just got upset and teary at the fact that he knows my love language but doesn’t fill my love tank. it’s back to the “am i being true to myself if i accommodate his shortcomings and try to convince myself ‘it’s ok!’ when it’s clearly not ok?

i told myself i won’t let his inability to use words of affirmation dumb down my desire to express mine. but it looks like it has. simply because it’s just less painful that way! ):

i’ve changed. /:

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baking

mom’s new oven has inspired me to go on a baking spree. i tried out a few savoury muffin recipes to begin with, and got pretty excited with the results. a couple of people tried and liked it, but my favourite person didn’t like the idea of savoury muffins.. “吃不惯”, he would say. and so i laid those recipes to rest.

next, i moved on to sweets. i figured, the chiffon cake might be a good starting point. (apparently, i later found that it wasn’t the simplest cake to start with. hah!) i had some kind of success on the first attempt with a lychee chiffon. it looked pretty and had good texture. however, i felt it was a tad moist and sweet, so i wanted to improve those aspects of it. the very next day, i decided to try strawberry chiffon! this time, again, too much moisture went into the mix and my cake came out with a concave bottom~ le sigh. aside from looks, i liked it and a couple of others did too! finally, i tweaked the recipe further and success! or so i thought..

i replicated the strawberry chiffon last friday and delivered them to my favourite person’s place in the evening. and my darling adr just told me today that he didn’t like the cake. encore le sigh! i think i’ll be putting the recipe to rest again.

and yes, his opinion means so much more to me than others’ and even my own. must. find. something. he. likes.

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knocking them off

so we’re getting things done for the wedding, one at a time.. which is great!! i haven’t documented the process every step of the way, and this is the first entry. for posterity’s sake, lemme just scribble my thoughts down. hehh. (pity no pictures!! i rem now why i planned but failed to blog this earlier. :P)

just yesterday, we decided to go with margaret brides for my gown design! in fact, we went with something higher tier than i’d expected we’d go with. i felt pampered by him to say the least, although it was kinda because we neglected the costing excluded the flowers *oooops*. but during the decision-making, he really did put me before himself. for that, i’m very thankful. i know it’s not half as important to him, so him being so involved is wonderful in itself. him pampering me is bonus muchly! :))))

prior to the decision, we made visits to flamingo n digio tog, which were contrasting learning experiences. i made a trip to blessed brides myself to check out the quality of the gowns, so tt i could make an informed decision after we finally check out MB. the workmanship is reaaaally different.. and the consultation is something that i haven’t gotten at the other places. just these 2 aspects already won me over. naturally i leaned towards MB.. even then, cost was still a major concern. so when he gave the green light, i was vair glad! heeee.

other than this, last weekend was bed shopping at IMM and IFC. that was a learning experience too. one which i felt said we needed to be more informed at decision-making before signing on the dotted line. hmmm.. and a couple of weeks before tt, we bought our wedding bands from sookee too. it feels like a lot of big items. i think we’ll have quite a few more to go.. photography, flowers, stationery and catering. yikes!

feels like we’re almost done but yet still so much to be done! hurrrrr. well, one at a time. chip off the big block! perhaps just as he said to our friend today.. i ought to remind myself to enjoy the process even though it can be rather nerve-wrecking and stressful. no bridezilla syndrome please!! hahhh. (:

so yeah. start of new work week. i can’t wait to start our lives together. (((:
236 more days to go.

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must. hold. tongue

the current intern has been a real test of all our patience. i keep having to remind myself that more grace is needed, so that growth can take place. just as i have received, i must release. *sigh*

too many times i’ve felt that this is the lowest denominator that i have ever seen in terms of competence and intelligence. it is seriously BAAAD. but how else will she learn if we don’t give chance? *double sigh*

can die. but still, must. hold. tongue.

God give me strength.

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accomplished, finally.

after feeling lousy and unaccomplished for several months, i’ve finally snapped out of that mopey self somewhat.

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few hundred pages of hard work..

looking at this thick, wire-bound hard copy of my publicity report makes me feel mighty accomplished! it is a few hundred pgs of hard work, beautifully pieced together with my OCD-cropping skills. muahahahaa.

in the background is my surprise gift from boss after a positive mid-year review, as well as a fabulous lunch treat of 點心 at 飲茶. (:

in case it’s not obvious..hehe, it’s this:

 

64GB latest model, no less! with my name engraved on it too~ (:

feeling so pampered by God! (:

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foodie goodies

been counting my calories these past 2 weeks or so. am happy to report that it is helping me lose weight in a way never before!! unexpected much..

well, despite watching what i eat closely, i’d say tt i’ve still been enjoying my food muchly. *teehee* and just cos i dun feel like doing delayed telecast on FB, i’m doing it here. muahahahaa.

so here’s some stuff i enjoyed earlier this week and earlier today! (:

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cedele forbidden rice, millet and mushroom salad. i actually liked it!

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yummy sat lunch w parents. devoured a char siew ipoh hor fun with teh tarik @ 山城 ipoh delicacies, bpp. *noms*

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sugar pot filled with plenty of white crystals tt looked more like salt. probably should hv tried one of it just to verify! :P

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creme fraiche under the mini cloche. tea jelly tastes uncannily like the seasons ice lemon green tea! i shld totally try to make jelly w the drink.

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a scone each (pretty yums!), genmaicha for me (pretty standard stuff) and some orchid tea for him (smells super berry-like instead of floral but tastes just like EBT).

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shiny teapot enclosures. or whatever they’re called. wonder what black/white teapots denote. mighty pricey at $11 each. 1st and last time. *pffft*

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one for the road since we’re at the super dressed up TWG. he didn’t catch much of the surrounding. :P haha!

the drink and snack at TWG turned out to be as expensive as what a dinner at a decent restaurant would cost us.. which is why first and last time. :P it was pretty nice la, just too much to ever revisit. and the reason why we ended up there was because we were at MBS for this!

the dog whisperer!! *YAYY*

the man himself!!

i was soooo awed by the fact that i could catch him LIVE (thanks to adr dear!) — woohoo!! he was so funny and entertaining. almost like watching stand-up at times.. it was great to see him demonstrate his lessons/principles in person. we had a greaaaat time. the view was really good from where we were (vaaaair prime seats for comp tixx), and could technically stay for extended Q&A meant exclusively for VIP ticket holders. but cos it ended really late as is, we left right after the show. *sighhh* if only right..!! but well, it was already priceless. sooo glad. (:  *bliss*

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